Are you in such a healthy relationship?

“Love is blind, and lovers cannot see the foolish things they do.”

When people fall in love with someone, they are always desperate and unrelenting.

Knowing that they are “moths to the flame”, they will still choose to be crazy for love.

However, everything has a degree, over is a disaster.

Especially in the relationship, you can be enthusiastic and active, but must be built on the basis of have to come and go, otherwise the wishful thinking of the end, doomed to disappointment.

Schopenhauer said:

The person who says “I love you” must first have a complete “I” word, if there is no “I” word, “I love you” does not exist. If there is no “I”, “I love you” will not exist.

Men and women get along, even if the feelings are good, but also in the following 3 aspects to restrain themselves.

Once too active, you will lose!

01
Do not be humble, do not take the initiative to please

“Love can make a person humble to the dust, become very low and low, but can bloom in the dirt.”

Every time I read Eileen Chang’s books, my heart is always haunted by a tinge of sadness, just like the above sentence, which is about others, but also about herself.

Born in a time of war, Eileen Chang was originally proud and sober, using a pen to write all the world.

But in the face of love, she lost her armor for a second, and every time she defiantly loved each other, humbly waiting for the blossom, but was repeatedly abandoned miserably.

Especially after falling in love with Hu Lan Cheng, Zhang Eileen willingly put down their stature, tolerate each other all, and even betrayal.

She thought, as long as to pay all the heart, can be exchanged for a white head to snuggle with the end, but forgot:

All begged to feelings, will not last too long, at any time will collapse.

Your pay, in his eyes into a legitimate should should, your concessions, in his eyes into a weak and incompetent.

And the more humble, the other side is more arrogant; the more pleasing, the other side is more arrogant.

In a relationship, the most afraid is to lose themselves, to fulfill each other.

Since there is no you in your heart, why make a fool of yourself?

First learn to please yourself, and then go to love others, is the only way to have happiness.

After all, no one can wake up a sleepy person, feelings are also so.

Touched, can never be exchanged for genuine.

02
Do not overstep, do not actively interfere

Someone said:

“men and women get along, is a study, too far, will fade the emotion; too close, is a disaster!”

Deeply agree.

Anyone get along, can not be too close, if you do not know how to cool down for each other’s feelings, the relationship will only slowly wither.

Especially between men and women, deep feelings, but also to give each other space, the relationship is good, do not interfere.

In the documentary “Four Spring Days”, there was a story about an old couple’s warm daily life.

They would take walks together and plant flowers together, but more often than not, they were busy with their own business and did not interfere with each other.

While the wife danced around the house, the husband picked up his erhu and studied beside him; while the husband was immersed in the music score, the wife went to work on other household chores.

In short, two people rely on each other and are also independent of each other, being each other’s support and the best version of themselves.

There is a line in the Thai movie “Eternity”:

“Fill each other’s cups, but don’t sip from the same cup; hand each other bread, but don’t take it from the same piece; stand in one place, but don’t get too close.

As the pillars in the temple, so they stand apart on either side; so the oak and the pine never grow in each other’s shade.”

This is how the most beautiful love should be.

Only in just the right distance can we achieve a look of peace and quiet.

03
Do not rely on, do not take the initiative to ask for

In the circle of friends, there is a sentence that has been forwarded many times:

“A person must be ambitious, can not rely on relying on others, strong spirit and strength is the biggest treasure in a person’s life.”

It’s just a shame that most people don’t understand this.

They spend their entire lives reaching out to others, emotionally dependent and living off of them.

But does reaching for something really last?

The answer is no.

As another famous quote says, “Sugar that is asked for by reaching out for it and sugar that is given voluntarily do not taste the same.”

Especially in a relationship, the person who loves you even more may leave at any time.

The only one who stays with you is yourself;

The only one who can really give you a sense of security is also only yourself.

In my opinion, although love cannot be self centered, it still needs to maintain a certain degree of independence.

Have the ability to support each other with each other, so as not to be abandoned halfway.

Only in this way can we walk hand in hand with our loved ones and walk together on the road to happiness.

As the saying goes: the moon is full, the water is overflowing.

This truth, in the relationship is also applicable.

The best love, must be not tired of getting along, the intensity of the appropriate.

Between men and women, don’t because “too much to please” and hurt the heart; also don’t because “no distance” and lost love, and don’t because “too much dependence” and ruined the love.

Only mutual attraction, each other fulfillment, in order to long-lasting companionship.

2 thoughts on “Are you in such a healthy relationship?

  1. Reading this article felt like a heart-to-heart conversation. It’s a testament to the power of sharing our emotional journeys.

  2. I appreciate how this article encourages us to embrace all our emotions, whether they’re joyful or challenging.

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