The modern dating rules revealed

After how many dates would you kiss someone, send them a Facebook friend request or spend the night with them?

According to a new study exploring the dos and don’ts of dating, you shouldn’t lock lips until the second date or connect on Facebook until at least the third. And don’t even dream of jumping into bed with them before the fourth rendezvous.

The research, commissioned by TLC’s new dating show Undressed, also suggests that men should be the first text after a successful date and women should respond within a quarter of an hour if keen.

When it comes to messaging, a maximum of two kisses is all that is required as an end note.

Any more might be too ‘over the top’, while any less could apparently come across as ‘cold’. A definite no-no is waiting for the other person to text first.

Half of the 1,500 Brits quizzed in the study said it was important for their potential love interest to make contact first – which means the other half of daters will be left disappointed.

It seems that ‘playing it cool’ isn’t in vogue anymore either. A third of respondents said they would text back within a quarter of an hour, with only five percent saying they’d wait as long as two hours.

Just 23 percent of people think that texting back straight away is a sign of being ‘too keen’ with the majority of Brits saying they are happy to get right back in contact with a love interest.

However, when it comes to communicating online it becomes even stickier territory.

On average, the survey recommends that it’s best to wait until some point between the third and fourth dates before sending a Facebook friend request or following a beau on Twitter.


Send first text message: After one date

Go for first kiss: After two dates

Send Facebook friend request: After three dates

Spend the night: After four dates

Allow your partner to undress you: After five dates

Introduce partner to friends: After five dates

Jo Hemmings, behavioral Psychologist for TLC’s Undressed, says that dating has become increasingly difficult in the technological era, with people having to ‘carefully orchestrate’ what they want to say.

She continued: ‘The advance of smartphones has made dating both easier, and more difficult.

‘Our parents may have had nothing more complicated to worry about than when to ring a date up on the landline, but these days there are dozens of methods of communication that all have to be carefully orchestrated.’

Half of the survey participants said they’d looked up a potential date online before meeting in person, to get a feel for their personality and see more pictures – and 15 percent revealed they’d cancelled a date after seeing something on social media they didn’t like.

When actually on the date, there are countless faux pas to avoid – the worst of the lot being talking about an ex too much, followed by poor personal hygiene.

One in ten said they would cancel a date with someone if they talked about themselves too much in messages.

The reasons for going cold after a date range from the banal to the bizarre, with one respondent admitting that he couldn’t stop staring at a date’s mole, and another saying simply, ‘They punched my cat.’

Although the study shows that three is the magic number when it comes to the number of dates needed before an overnight stay, one in ten said they need more than ten meetings to get to that point.

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