How to build a good trusting relationship between partners? (A must see for true love)

In this article I am going to share with you two operational tips for running your love life, namely building trust in each other and concrete ways to resolve conflicts.
1 After calming down from the hormone-driven surprises and the doubts in the relationship start to become clear, at this stage, the most crucial thing is to ‘build trust’.
I’ll give you three operational suggestions on how to build trust between two people:
The first one is the presumption of innocence.
No matter how two people are together, either they are not together, or if they are together, they trust each other first. Then, we can tell each other: what kind of situation arises, what kind of point the two people come to is unacceptable to us, then we will leave. Draw the red line first, and when the other person touches that red line, just leave. Then until the red line comes up, live each day as if it’s a brand new day and don’t spend each day wondering and being on edge. Instead of that, figure out how to learn how to trust someone.
Trustworthiness is also an ability, and learning to trust someone takes learning.
Number two, even if we doubt the other person, then please resolve that doubt before moving on to the next stage of life.
If it is a problem that appeared when both parties were in love, and now dragged to have a baby, two people are still tormented by this problem. Then it will be more difficult to solve this problem if you didn’t address it when you were in a relationship and dragged it out until you have a baby now. No matter what the problem is, learn to solve it in the moment.
The best opportunity to solve a problem – one is when the problem first occurs and the other is now.
Thirdly, if our lives will be haunted for years by a statement made by the other person, it means that the statement has been magnified by us infinitely.
It’s like a couple, when two people are tormented over something as trivial as whether or not to take out the trash, or if one person has to turn on the lights and the other has to turn them off, usually these little conflicts are given other meanings. How about both people sit down and seriously spend a day just discussing all of this and then documenting it all. Have a family meeting between the two to at least talk things out and face them together.
2 Whether it’s a relationship or a marriage, it’s normal for two people to get along and often have conflicts. Therefore, it is impossible to go into a relationship expecting two people to be conflict-free.
When conflicts occur, the most important thing is our attitude toward those conflicts. That is: to resolve it as best we can. So, what is the way we resolve it? The solution is really only three steps in total:
The first step is to be sure to discuss this disagreement and conflict openly and honestly.
If both sides were evasive, then this conflict would not have arisen and everyone would have shelved it. There must be a conflict because both sides have put this conflict on the table, and since both are bothered by this conflict, discuss it. But be careful to limit the discussion to the fact itself, and remember not to proliferate the issue.
There is one central tip about discussing the fact itself: using the right opening statement is most important.
The kind of opening we use determines the success or failure of this conversation. Positive results will only be achieved if a positive opening is used. If it’s a negative opening, for example, “How many times have I told you to keep your socks off the couch.”
When we say that, we are dooming the conflict to be unresolved. So if we want to resolve a conflict, we must open it in a positive way.
In the opening, you can use the [Emotional Response Technique] that we have mentioned in the past, which will gradually calm the other person’s mood and also make the rest of the conversation smoother.
Regarding how to respond emotionally, there are several specific operations:
The first operation: attention
For example, when a girl raises her dissatisfaction with a boy’s attitude when he has a conflict, what should the boy pay attention to? To pay attention to what the other side said what attitude, rather than to pay attention to what the other side said right or wrong or rush to refute. This is a kind of attention, first of all, focus on the other party raised hate what kind of attitude to deal with the problem, which can reflect the other party’s what needs. So, how to realize the real attention to each other? It can be achieved through a small technique – stress-free conversation. Don’t let the conversation be stressful, this is a very important communication skill.
We have observed that stress-free conversations are mainly about not talking about what’s going on between two people and talking about some third-party topics.
For example, in the case of the simplest sentence, when you come home after work, you can ask:
“How was your day today?”
This is a typical no-pressure conversation. There’s no conversation about the relationship between the two people or about each other’s problems; we’re focusing on each other.
If we were a makeup artist, the other person might just ask us:
“What place did you go to get your makeup done today? How was your client today? Was it interesting? Did he give you a hard time?”
In fact, when the other person asks us this, we will not feel any pressure during the whole process. We just feel understood and cared about. We go on to chat:
“That client today was so weird ……”
In this process, it actually soothes the stress, which is very important.
The second action: Steering
What is “steering”? The real steering should be in favor of the attitude problem raised by the other party, instead of caring about whether you have taken this attitude problem or not, which is called steering.
To turn is to get into a trench with the other side first.
The third operation: understanding
No matter what a woman says, a man should always understand what the other person is saying first.
Understanding, on behalf of the other side said this thing to their own how important, is the other side said “attitude” to their own how important, rather than directly to judgment. If you don’t try to understand each other, you will never be able to solve the current problem.
Therefore, in the future, the girl said any word, the boy should turn to her, learn to listen and respond to her.
The fourth operation: non-defensive listening
In fact, regardless of whether the boys agree or disagree with the “conflict handling attitude” thing, at least in the girl said “I hate your kind of attitude”, her feelings are real, she is from the boys feel the boys’ attitude. Then the boy has to listen. If the guy doesn’t listen, but starts to debate, it will only make the girl more and more angry.
The fifth operation: empathy
Empathy is the essence of letting the girl know that the guy values her feelings. Whatever emotions she has are justified.
This ’emotional response’ is actually more often than not a request for what the guy should do, this is because girls are emotional thinkers in most cases, while guys are more often than not rational thinkers. So once the conflict, ask the girls to follow these five operations to carry out, is relatively difficult, while the boys if you can do a good job of emotional response, in the conflict resolution will be twice the effort.
Returning to the method of conflict resolution, the second step is “appeasement”. Pacification is divided into “self pacification” and “other’s pacification”.
If there is a disagreement between two parties, learn to build up your own mind. Especially when both parties are very emotional, it is especially easy to learn from each other’s state and infect each other. At this time, it is important to learn to separate before gathering. Especially when both parties are in an emotional state, leaving separately before assembling is a very good way to handle the situation.
What can both parties do when they leave? We can comfort ourselves, do some mind building, and look at some of the good times in the past. When we gather again, we can learn to pacify each other, and this step is pacification.
The third step is ‘reaching’, reaching a compromise with each other.
What is something that cannot be compromised? Let’s all compromise with each other. If it doesn’t work, compromise with yourself. Some people say, “I can’t do it,” so at least learn to put it aside; putting it aside is itself a compromise.
“Okay, we’re not going to talk today, but we’re not going to eat tonight.” Is that not good enough? Japanese or Jiangxi cuisine, when you can’t decide, you don’t eat. Put that food selection conflict on hold, isn’t that the end of it?
After these three steps, we got at least three things:
First, understanding.
After the discussion can understand the position of the other side, for example, the boys understand why the girls must eat this kind of food today, this is understanding.
The second thing, comfort.
At the very least we tell him, “I’m paying attention to you, I’m actively concerned about your feelings, and we’ve had some good times together.”
The third thing is that we may have gotten a result.
Whether that result ended up being what we wanted or not. But I want to tell you this: when two people are together, nothing is exactly right.
As the saying goes, a clean slate is not a clean slate. This saying is about the fact that there is no absolute right or wrong between two people. When we understand that there is no absolute right or wrong between two people, we understand one thing:
Any ending between two people is actually the same. Whether we compromise ourselves today, or he compromises, or shelve this conflict with each other, it’s really the same in the end. Don’t let your attention be distracted by these little things, what matters is that the two of you can still have a good time and have a good time, and that’s all that matters.
Finally, I hope that when the conflict arises, you should never think of escaping, the first thing you should do is to face it, and then hold a positive mindset to think about how to solve the conflict contradiction problem.
I wish you all can learn to solve these problems better and more optimistically in the process of relationship, so that we can have a better life!

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