How to have a “healthy” relationship?



All romantic relationships go through ups and downs, and they all require effort, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. But whether your relationship is just starting out or you’ve been together for years, there are steps you can take to build a healthy relationship. Even if you’ve experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or struggled to re-ignite the spark in your current relationship, you can find ways to stay connected, achieve fulfillment, and enjoy lasting happiness.

[What makes a healthy relationship?]

Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. Part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go. And that’s something you’ll only know by talking deeply and honestly with your partner.

However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common. Knowing these basic principles can help keep your relationship meaningful, fulfilling and exciting whatever goals you’re working towards or challenges you’re facing together.

You maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other. You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. There’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved. When you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without the partners truly relating to each other emotionally. While the union may seem stable on the surface, a lack of ongoing involvement and emotional connection serves only to add distance between two people.

You’re not afraid of (respectful) disagreement. Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to feel safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation or insisting on being right.

You keep outside relationships and interests alive. Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all of your needs. In fact, expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on a relationship. To stimulate and enrich your romantic relationship, it’s important to sustain your own identity outside of the relationship, preserve connections with family and friends, and maintain your hobbies and interests.

You communicate openly and honestly. Good communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.

[How to build a healthy relationship?]

Building a healthy relationship is not something that happens overnight, it requires you and your partner to invest time and energy constantly. Here are some tips that can help you cultivate and maintain a healthy relationship:

  • Respect each other’s individuality and differences. You and your partner may have different values, beliefs, goals, interests, and habits, and that doesn’t mean you’re incompatible. On the contrary, these differences can help you learn more about each other, increase your compatibility and attraction. Respect each other’s individuality and differences, rather than trying to change each other, is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
  • Maintain good communication. Communication is not just about talking, it also involves listening, understanding, feedbacking and expressing. Maintaining good communication means that you share your thoughts, feelings, needs and desires regularly with each other, rather than hiding or suppressing them. At the same time, pay attention to listening to each other’s voice, try to understand each other’s perspective, give appropriate feedbacks, express your support or sympathy. When communicating, use positive, affirming,respectful and honest language, avoid using negative, critical, blaming or false language.
  • Support each other’s growth and development. In a healthy relationship, both parties should encourage and support each other to pursue their dreams, goals and interests, rather than hinder or envy each other. Supporting each other’s growth and development can make you more confident, independent and happy, and also increase your trust and respect for each other. At the same time, also pay attention to maintaining your own space and boundaries, do not be overly dependent or interfere with each other.
  • Resolve conflicts fairly and effectively. In any relationship, conflicts are inevitable, but the key is how to deal with them. Resolving conflicts fairly and effectively means that you follow some basic principles: first, choose a suitable time and place to discuss the problem, avoid doing it when you are emotional or distracted; second, focus on the current problem, rather than bringing up past mistakes or future worries; third, respect each other’s feelings and views, rather than blaming or belittling each other; fourth, seek a win-win or compromise solution, rather than fighting for victory or succumbing to pressure; finally, forgive each other and express your love, rather than holding a grudge or ignoring each other.
  • Keep romance and passion alive. In a long-term relationship, romance and passion may fade or disappear over time. To keep romance and passion alive, you need to constantly create freshness and surprises. This can be done by some simple and effective methods: for example, often send each other flowers, chocolates or small gifts; regularly arrange some special or romantic dates; try some new or exciting activities; increase physical contact and intimacy; say how much you love your partner; often express your gratitude and praise; maintain a humorous and optimistic attitude. These methods can make your relationship more romantic and passionate, and also increase your happiness and satisfaction.

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