The first step in a relationship starts with personality type


In today’s fast-paced modern society, we can use the term “ever-changing” to describe not only the development of cities, but also the ever-changing nature of love.

In the past, love was considered to be a sacred, beautiful and sweet experience of life within everyone, and it still is today, but with the practical qualities of modern life. In the face of life’s pressures and challenges, modern love requires not only emotional compatibility, but also skill and emotional intelligence.

In the present day, we often hear couples complaining, “Life is so stressful, how can I have time to figure out what you’re thinking, can’t you be more sympathetic?” Yes, many times we get lost in reality, it doesn’t mean we don’t want to love, but because we sometimes have trouble understanding and expressing it accurately.

So, how do you maintain a healthy romance in the midst of the high-speed pace of life?

According to the Adult Attachment Type Model, people can be categorized into three types: secure, avoidant, and anxious.

Secure Individuals:

According to sociologist Brennan, secure-type people usually come across as open and optimistic. They generally have a positive attitude and have little fear of abandonment. They have a happy, friendly, and trusting attitude toward love and do not get anxious about small things, such as their partner’s relationships with other people. They like to keep their emotions private from their partner and are able to express them openly, as well as being sensitive to their partner’s mood swings, which helps to defuse potential conflicts. These individuals dare to love and hate, dislike deception and concealment, and enjoy intimacy with their partner.

Avoidant Individuals:

Avoidant individuals have difficulty showing their inner self fully and place more value on retaining a certain amount of independence and privacy. They consider independence to be more important than intimacy, and while they do appreciate intimacy, they need some extra space. They are usually frank and believe that relationships should not interfere with work and are less willing to admit their attachment needs. They tend to show emotional volatility before they solve problems, which is one of their personality traits, as they are more reserved about their emotions and more likely to be involved in short-term relationships.

Anxious Individuals:

Anxious individuals are primarily influenced by vague praise and criticism from childhood and therefore feel confused and unsure of how to act when faced with love. They desire an intimate and cooperative relationship, but fear that their partner will not approve of them. As a result, they show strong possessiveness in love and need clear expressions of affection from their partners to appease their inner turmoil. Although some couples may think that asking their partner to say they love them three times a day is a bit much, for anxious individuals it is a sign of security.

Regardless of which attachment type we belong to, it is important to recognize our characteristics and be willing to improve. If you are the secure type, then you will enjoy a good time in love, but will need to work hard to maintain it. If you belong to the avoidant or anxious type, don’t worry, first accept your characteristics and then you can look for ways to improve.

In addition, when your partner also possesses certain attachment types, understanding the causes and characteristics of these types is crucial to resolving potential problems. Working to control mood swings when facing difficulties and gradually discussing issues with your partner is key to building a healthy, happy romantic relationship.

Love is a language art and a necessary lesson in life. It not only brings spiritual fulfillment, but also promotes mutual growth. In modern society, a truly fulfilling love requires us to have a certain theoretical knowledge base, as feelings alone cannot ensure long-lasting happiness.

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